Is shopping bad for You?

Yesterday was a different kind of day. Lately, I’ve been rewinding and unraveling so many habits, tendencies, and behaviors. It’s so easy to get caught up in the rat race, the commercialized world of GO, GET, ACHIEVE, SPEND. The thing I’ve started to become more aware of is the spiritual world and the “regular” world are both very different, but can still coexist in a fun and exciting way. I’m the queen of extremes, but also the queen of seeking unconventional ideas of balance and coexistence of two separate ideas. You don’t have to sit on a rock and meditate all day to be enlightened, and you don’t have to be consumed with worldly things or completely disconnected from them either. It all comes from your place of being, and what superficial things MEAN to you.

For example. I could go to the best mall and spend $1,000 on a name brand purse. It could mean I’m desperately searching for something that brings me happiness, status, and somehow proves or validates me as a successful member of society. OR, I could spend that same money from a place of pure joy, excitement, achievement, and satisfaction on a deep level. Most people never stop to analyze WHERE they are at, or WHY they are purchasing/doing something. Sadly our world WIRES us to consume on such a massive level we aren’t programmed to think, we are programmed to BUY and that buying = happiness. Guilty as charged here, it’s effortless to be swept away in it . But I’m learning, I’m paying more attention lately.

Yesterday, I explored a garage sale and a goodwill for the first time in ages. Because old patterns of lack were part of my experience for a long time I wanted nothing to do with these two things for a long time. For most of my life, I had no choice but to ONLY shop at these places and it felt powerless to be in that place. One day I realized I didn’t have to shop these places anymore but still was because it takes a while to outgrow your old beliefs and patterns. But I realized I had to change habits to match my new mindset because they kept me stuck in a “this is all I can afford” type mindset that didn’t serve me much. It was good to let go and move on, into something that felt better.

But years later… after a lot of change and a lot of different habits in my life, I started to analyze, dove in, did some more work and grew more. What I realized is for the first time in ages, I didn’t let something like where I was shopping MEAN anything to me. Define me in any way (even though I THOUGHT it never did, slowly it had turned into something that did). And browsing through goodwill was FUN!!! It didn’t mean I HAD to shop there (and I acknowledge there is massive power in feeling like you have a CHOICE). It also didn’t drain me the way a busy mall full of labels and frantic people searching for their next dopamine hit from things does either. I love fashion and tons of name brand stores but HATE the energetic feeling of busy malls full of mindless people. It felt adventurous, more innocent and more sustainably responsible (recycled fashion) to do it and there wasn’t any anxiety over the money exchange either because… well this dress was 50 cents!!

I also explored small business, bought items and MADE a necklace myself instead of just buying one. More fun because art, creativity, and expression were at the heart of those dollars spent!

My point is sometimes we get attached to ideas.
1. Shopping at goodwill = you’re poor and can’t have what you really want.

Then we have breakthroughs and need to detach from those ideas.

2. I actually prefer or enjoy something different and can achieve those (new, name brand things feel good).

But we also can get carried away by these new ideas, lose our power by that and get lost on an endless pursuit of needing MORE of whatever it is. More always equals better is what our minds are conditioned to believe.

3. I have to have name brand things because they reflect my self-worth, value, success, and abilities. Spend more. Have more. Better. Newer. = happiness.

So sometimes we have to step back, analyze our new ideas and if they are serving us still. We may even revisit old ideas and try them back on. As you’ve grown and changed as a person, you may find the lesson or need wasn’t about what you thought it was at all.

4. Does where I shop or how much I spend actually define me? Does it mean anything, or actually impact my life for the positive? Do the dollars spent directly correlate with the joy something brings me?

And then you get answers. Sometimes right in the middle of both ideas, but an answer that makes sense for you, that feels truly right.

For me it’s been: I enjoy having money for whatever I may truly want, but I consciously chose where to spend my money based on how something benefits me, and how investing my money in that thing makes me feel. BUT, I am also in control of this and do not feel compulsively driven my names, labels, status, image and other things that have no governing power over my life. That means whether I’m wearing a dress that cost 50 cents from a garage sale, or $100 from my favorite designer I FEEL the same in them because I feel the same ABOUT myself without them.

Ahhhhhh…. that’s just a pretty fun, free place to operate from. One that aligns with me on a deep level, and doesn’t feel restrictive or like I have to give anything up (my love of fashion). And THAT Is what feels right. 

Can you relate to any of this? Have you been through cycles of awareness like this? I’d love to hear your thoughts!