The real reason you’re stuck, exhausted, can’t heal & can’t seem to change.

Why everything you’re doing to improve your life is failing you…and how to fix it!

In this blog I’ll uncover the truth about why we are not healing, not able to change and constantly feel “stuck”, anxious, exhausted and burnt out.

Today we have more therapy, more self-help books, more podcasts, healers, teachers, coaches and speakers on the topics of self-development, healing, happiness, and change. Yet, we all seem to be on a hamster wheel of the same old behaviors, outcomes, and circumstances. What gives? Why aren’t we getting better with all the endless tools we have at our modern disposal?

The modern psychology world wants to talk about things until they are blue in the face. It’s more about naming and claiming feelings than it is actually processing or healing them.

The success and empowerment world likes to bypass feelings by using the law of attraction and “no victim consciousness” phrases to encourage individuals to simply choose a different thought and bypass the one they are feeling in order to not attract more of the bad.

The medical world likes to ask 10 questions with a sliding scale of how unhappy you are and determines you suffer from depression and anxiety while throwing an Rx drug at your hoping it sticks. Mental health is the only aspect of modern medicine that has zero objective diagnostics and allows the patient’s own answers to determine a serious diagnosis.

The spiritual healing world likes to ignore biochemistry and environment and insist healing is as simple as letting go, getting your chakras in balance and focusing on love, light and healing white light. 

The mindset world focuses on thoughts create everything, and you can simply choose better thoughts and slap some affirmations on any situation and your whole life will change.

The nutrition world focuses on thousands of different “perfect ways” of eating yet not a single one of them has a high success rate across various different demographics and preexisting health conditions long term. Additionally, they often add more stress and confusion to an individual further compounding their condition.

The fitness world has a garden variety of different ways to break a sweat, yet in reality, all of them are perpetuating the damaging concept of detaching from your body and treating it as something to be beaten into submission with “no pain no gain” and “mind over matter” mantras. 

The self-love world says no matter what is going on, just love yourself, honor yourself, pamper yourself and allow yourself to feel all the feelings, eat the cake, buy the outfit and release all guilt without trying to change yourself. Only then will you find true happiness.  

And yet, we are still stuck, anxious, exhausted, struggling to eat right and exercise, scattered and keep repeating the same patterns and the same behaviors despite our best efforts. Why?

All of these modalities miss two important elements, which are THE most important elements to really changing anything in your life. The somatic body, where stress, trauma, and negative patterns are stored on a physical level, and the subconscious mind, where stress, trauma, and negative patterns are stored on a mind level. 95% of your thoughts, choices, behaviors, and symptoms in ALL areas of your life are due to the conditioned state of your somatic body and subconscious brain. The rest is fluff, the rest is slinging paint at a wall and hoping something sticks while leaving your results up to “will power” that doesn’t stand a chance. The rest are in such small percentages that they should be the icing on the cake, yet continually people go from one treatment, one modality, one healing art to the next with no change because the iceberg under the water is never addressed. Often times more damage is done with these approaches by creating more internal conflict between the conscious and subconscious.

You may be thinking “Then why do those things make me FEEL better?” The temporary feel-good comes from a temporary shift in perception. In essence, the idea that we are making positive change creates positive results, but those positive feelings are much like the positive feelings you get when eating pizza! They are short-lived and counterproductive. The positive feelings fade away and before long you’re back at square one. And here’s the really important thing, when your somatic body and subconscious mind are not “healthy” and balanced (in alignment with your goals and desires) no matter what positive actions you’re taking you are running the risk of them being more unhealthy than healthy. At best you have merely white-knuckled a certain issue or recycled it into new negative behavior that will be short-lived before you’re back at square one. 

For example, someone who struggles with emotional eating and yo-yo dieting steps into the fitness world. They hire a trainer, start eating better and suddenly rather than use food to numb their emotions and pain they turn to an obsession with exercise and macro counting. The euphoria they get from a good workout and seeing the number on the scale drop becomes their new drug and on the outside, they have transformed their lives for the better. It’s the same medication of internal feelings, a different external look. The minute the momentum slows down, the weight comes back and they get “off track” the flood of real issues comes flowing back in. Their prior issues are only now compounded by a sense of failure, embarrassment, and shame and the cycle continues and deepens.

This happens ALL the time in the health world. Sometimes the results are a little deeper or last a little longer, but those deep-rooted core issues always bubble up and show themselves in one negative way or another. The subconscious mind and somatic body are running the show and they cannot be changed with actions, behavior change or thoughts. You have to make the shift within the subconscious and somatic areas FIRST for the actions, behavior change and thoughts to make a difference.

And just to clarify; As a nutritionist, fitness expert, and life coach obviously I value and utilize elements of these areas for my clients. This is not to say that ANY of the other tools mentioned at the beginning of my blog are entirely useless when done in an appropriate way. In reality, each one of them has powerful elements and benefits to them that can serve your health and healing very well. Nutrition, exercise, and environment are especially imperative. However, focusing on them while 95% of your mind and body are fighting AGAINST you is where the problem lies.

This is where my real work comes in. This is why working with the nervous system, mind-body connection and the subconscious brain are so transformative. This is why craniosacral and Psych-K are two therapies that can change your world when nothing else has seemed to be able to. And they do so QUICKLY! It doesn’t take 50 sessions of either to create massive breakthroughs. In fact, one session facilitates massive shifts in the somatic body and subconscious mind and starts a positive ripple effect. This is why despite 15 years in the field of health and healing, numerous certifications and tons of modalities in my tool belt, these two are my main focus now. This is where it starts. I don’t go straight to nutrition, fitness, life coaching, mindset, or removing toxins when someone is needing a massive life and health overhaul.

Most people know various actions they can implement to improve their life yet struggle with consistency and execution. They struggle with this internal battle of “I WANT to do this, yet keep doing THAT” and they can’t figure out why. Most people are fighting a battle with their own mind with zero ideas on how to access the deeper layers. So that is why all of those other elements (food, movement, mindset, etc) come AFTER we alter the foundation. After we remove that huge iceberg lurking under the water. After we rewire the nervous system and subconscious brain, release the trauma and negative patterns and create a new clean foundation that works WITH your goals not against them. Once that happens, the rest can flow and fall into place easily. Get to the core, and magic happens. The best part is the results are PERMANENT. 

I hope you found this blog informative, and that maybe it helped you realize YOU are not the problem. You’re not a failure, with no self control or anything like that. If you’ve continually tried to achieve a goal or make a change and can’t seem to make it stick, it’s because your somatic body and subconscious brain are working against you. The good news is there is a SOLUTION to that. It is my honor to provide these modalities and help facilitate positive healing for those I work with. I would love for you to be next.

Are you ready to create a change that lasts? Let’s begin your healing journey. Reach out to me. Whether you are local to Charlotte and can do an in-person session, or across the globe and want to do virtual sessions. I’m here and ready to guide you through this process. Contact me and let’s get started. Also, it would mean so much to me if you shared this article and helped educate other people who may feel stuck or lost in their life and are looking for real change.

Love, Healing and Zen

Holly Joy