Being a “complicated woman” and why you shouldn’t change!

A conversation…

My sweet #drtim “Why are you so gorgeous?”

Me “Because God knew when he made me he better make me extra cute to make up for how complex and complicated I am.”

Tim “I love how complex you are, I became a physicist because of how challenging it was so now I’ve found the ultimate equation I’ll spend my life trying to learn and solve.”

You guys… this man is my whole heart.

So this whole little moment got me thinking, Women are so often ridiculed and condemned for being complicated, complex, hard to understand etc. In every realm of psychological and personality evaluation I am at the top tier of this complexity, but because of those things I am also unique, passionate and creative something fierce. I have a head-spinning amount of depth to me, and My “challenging” qualities are hard for many to get or understand. Trust me, it caused a LOT of issues in past relationships and I was labeled a lot of things. I am not for everyone. Yet, for this one man, with this one special heart and patience to know me and appreciate me, I am perfect. I am the opposing force for everything in his world and he loves the contrast I bring.

My point in sharing is you don’t have to dim your qualities, contort to something you’re not, play nice, play small, or try to force someone to want or love you. It should and will come naturally when it’s right. If you are in a relationship or pursuing a relationship where you feel like you’re not your true authentic self and you’re not valued for those things….I promise you there is something better that will allow you to be the truest version of yourself and be HONORED for all the special and unique parts of yourself. But remember, you have to be yourself to START with because the right person won’t recognize you if you’re pretending to be someone else. I truly feel this is such a huge reason a year into a relationship people claim the other has “changed so much” and why so many relationships feel so empty and unfulfilled.

You can only maintain being something you’re not for so long, and if you’re your true self right out of the gate, your relationship will be a lot more harmonious throughout. You can only be in a relationship so long where you don’t feel truly validated and appreciated for who you are as well. Your true self is perfect, valuable, and worthy of love. Don’t confuse this with being an entitled princess btw, a lot of women take this to an opposite extreme and seem to think to be “worthy” means being a bit of an inflexible jackass. Being your true self-doesn’t mean you refuse to compromise or grow within a relationship and doesn’t mean your actions are always perfect. Having that mentality doesn’t exactly work either. BUT, still be that REAL person, and don’t settle for anything less than what sets your heart and soul on fire.

Rember this.

And guys, this 100% applies to you as well!! Women are the queens of loving your potential and trying desperately hard to make you into the man they want you to be. Being open to growing and changing is important no doubt, but if you constantly feel invalidated and disrespected by a woman and that you have to be something totally different than you are, it’s not going to get any better! Find someone who respects and appreciates the core of who you are because you deserve that too.